Great collection of iconic vehicles from Sci-Fi by Josh Ln including the DeLorean from Back to the Future, The Millenium Falcon from Star Wars, The Ghostbusters’ Station Wagon, The Enterprise and The Tardis from Doctor Who.
Sunrise on my way home #PhotoADayApril (Taken with instagram)
As I stop at a red light on Hampton Beach I see Deanna sitting at an outdoor restaurant. She spots me but I act as if I’m in my own world singing. When the light goes green the car doesn’t go. When I hit it the throttle goes wild. Pause at the bridge ahead where Caesar is leading the apes across to the island while destroying it.
The island they arrive to is an island inhabited by Pokemon. In a high rise miles away is a dark haired gentleman (some actor but can’t remember who) in a suit convincing Emily Mortimer to put up a magnetic fence to keep the apes and Pokemon on the island. No follow-up to if that ever worked.
Then he leaves and it’s me and her in the wood paneled office and I show her a trick. On the back of the door is a full length mirror and on the wall behind the door is another full length mirror that’s hinged. I go over in a dark suit and position the mirror so that when I stand behind her it looks like there are two of me. The only thing is the second reflection is wearing an entirely different suit. The reflection puts the mirror back leaving just me and her alone again, but doesn’t stop her from getting all hot and bothered.
I’m such a dick…
A group of undercovers led by myself, Jeff Bridges with a beard circa the “Tron” era, and one other guy. Three of us enter through the back into this shop believed to be a front for white supremacist drug dealers. We hit up an old arcade machine and start to play it and this one guy comes over to ask if we have any pizza or magazines, code for heroin and meth. The minute I tell him no we get knocked out and dragged into the back room. When we come to Adam Arkin is standing over us threatening us. The one guy gets killed, Jeff runs off, and I proceed to gouge out Adams eye balls until they pop like a gorey effect in an 80s movie. But after that I start to tear his jaw off to where the flesh is tearing and you can see muscles and tendons and bone. At the end of it he looks like a character from the remake of “House On Haunted Hill.” Also, his teeth removed like dentures. It was gross. I fucked that guy up bad.
I get stuck behind a Bugatti Veyron that chooses to go the speed limit. That’s all that happened here. Nothing too exciting.
This I’m fuzzy on, either I was watching this happen or was partaking. But a boat was going along this river very fast and then crashes on the shore of this small island to have the driver fly it, go through a lighthouse, come out the other side and fall into the water. Then began to trivialize whether or not it really happened.
I go back to the Bugatti situation but this time I’m driving it and take an alternate route on the highway to open the throttle on it. And I do… after passing a cop.
Sitting in my living room with my family, mainly my sister I remember. A commercial for a new “Kingdom Hearts” game comes on, and doesn’t look half bad mostly because it’s for one of the biggest consoles instead of portables.
So this will probably have the consistency of writing notes on a cocktail napkin but here we go.
I give away a couch I don’t want to these dudes on the street. Not long after they decided to sell it. Who comes by to look at it and buy it? Matt fucking Damon. The thing is he wasn’t buy the couch for what it was, it was really run down, there was a piece of paper on the couch that said something to the effect of, “Freedom means not knowing.” Sadly I can’t do anything to stop it, I gave it away. But later on I go to meet Patton Oswalt after his fourth show that night. The weird thing was that he was getting $1000 in tips for each show. But I tell him about the couch and the paper and he becomes so upset he goes out on stage to tell the crowd he can’t do the next show.
I attempt to give myself tattoos on my hand. I basically chew up my hand and leave some light outlines.
I’m driving down the road somewhere in suburban Texas and the car in front of me is swerving all over the road. Once a cop car hits the wailer and the car pulls over I see that someone hit it. So I go around it and the cop car goes past that car and winds up pulling me over. For some reason I get out of the car and cross the street to handle something. Realizing, “Oh shit, I got pulled over,” I go back to the car where the cop gives me a ticket. Now I’ve never gotten a speeding ticket and this one was difficult to read what I was being cited for but it appeared I was being fined $1628.
Most of these I feel could become strange sketches to do. Or outlines for some weird TV show.
This is from a dream I had last week. Had to rush to work so I saved it before publishing. Could fly as a full episode but I’ll keep it as a mini.
This is a strange case of environmental blending. I started off walking through some sort of mall, wound up entering this cluttered backroom that bled into a warehouse that was connected to a children’s hospital. Had this been a real establishment the architect would’ve been fired. Can’t remember what I was doing but at some point in the warehouse area I had to pee badly. The problem was there were only two bathrooms, if you could call them that. One was an actual stall, currently occupied, which was basically a metal toilet by the wall surrounded by three walls and a shitty wooden door. The other stall was in the middle of the floor on slightly elevated platform and the walls and doors were just high enough to obscure your junk standing. If you’re over three feet sitting is almost out of the question. So I let it go and it’s going. As I do there’s a lot of people hovering around waiting to use it after me and probably are wondering why I’m standing, all while piss is splashing back and onto the stall. I hammer through finish and go back to whatever.
I head back to the backroom area and all of a sudden I see this little dot that says “Follow (26ft)” below it. I walk back into the warehouse and see this guy booking it so I take the cue and the entire place proceeds to turn into a warzone and gets ripped apart.
Later on I hook up with my brother and his girlfriend on their way to drop some stuff off at the dump. This dump as located literally in the woods by a river and a bridge which was being used to store the garbage. After they dump whatever it is they’re getting rid of I got looking for good stuff to snag and find a few things, mostly comic books floating in the river. We eventually head back to the house where I put my comics on the table to dry.
Sometime later I leave the house in my sister’s Kia while it’s night time and snowing. Best time for a late night stroll. While driving up a small incline I nearly get hit and get stuck in the snow. Some stranger comes out to help me and time fades to when it’s light outside and some of the snow has melted on the road. I find myself in a downtown area that looks like it blends several different towns in my area and into one. I’m driving in search of something and can’t remember what. Sasquatch?
Alright, hot off the proverbial press, a brand spankin’ new episode that has quite a lot to it. Hope you took your morning poop after your coffee this morning cause this is gonna be a while. And don’t bring the laptop into the bathroom and read it, that’s kinda weird and I would feel oddly insecure about that.
I leave a tiny apartment located down a skeezy back alley having just had an argument with the missus that forced me to step out and clear my head. I turn the corner and clearly I’m in the part of town no one should ever be in for fear of getting shot, stabbed, mugged, or any combination of sorts. Restaurants with bars in the window, graffiti everywhere, busted up cars, dumpsters of fire - I’m clearly in John Carpenter’s “Escape From New York.” So after a few blocks I come up to a bridge that I want to cross but there’s a slight issue - most of the bridge is broken and down in concrete trench save for the sidewalks, which are fenced in and being guarded by gangsters dressed in jeans and white T-shirts. Ordinarily I’d turn around out of fear, especially cause what’s on the other side doesn’t look that much better (more fire I think), but I go up to the fence and the guy behind it tells me I’m in the wrong part of town and that if I want to cross I use the 52nd Street bridge, which is about three blocks away and probably worse. So I choose to head back but kinda take a detour through backstreets, side streets and cut through people’s courtyards because oddly I feel safer doing that than being on the street. I arrive back at the alley I originally came from and standing at the corner is a crackhead with a razor blade, clearly looking to mug me for what few bits of lint are in my pocket. As he plays with the lint and I go closer to the door I start to give off the vibe of, “Fuck off or I will mess you up.” And I also kinda stand back a bit and try to get him to leave so he doesn’t see where I live. He must’ve left because I don’t remember him after that point.
I enter the building and walk up some stairs and realize the danger isn’t over yet. At the top of the stairs through the door across from mine, waiting for me, to are two burglars. I get the idea to use an electromagnet on the door to keep it shut using a car battery, or some device that looks like one, and two corded telephone receivers. Sadly I start out by placing the receivers on the door with no current and the door cracked up and I shut it making them fully aware of my presence as I see them through the door with partial X-Ray vision. They charge the door as I attempt to hold them back but they manage to get through. And once they’re through I realize that the burglars are Marv and Harry from “Home Alone” (Daniel Stern and Joey Pesci respectively.) I fight them off by kicking their legs and smashing my forearm into them to get away.
Inside the apartment they came out of was a woman and her five year old daughter. The two of them are wanted by officials and I agree to help get them out. Fade to us somewhere in the mountains while it snows. We find ourselves nestled in this one pocket in the side to hide from Tommy Lee Jones and his crew above who is looking for us. After they pass we move on and find a cave for us to spend the night. Then we find out the cave, which is brightly lit, is the base of operations for Tommy Lee Jones and his crew. Briefly pretending like we’re not there at the entrance by hiding under the sleeping bag we eventually head inside. The cave isn’t that big, probably 100-300 square feet, and has been retrofitted to operate a whole lot of scientific equipment. We agree to assist them in their experiment which as you would expect, fugitives being asked to help, the experiment takes a hard left turn and goes wrong. The guy in charge uses himself as a subject and turns into this massive creature with a large mouth, larger tongue, green, slimy, tentacles and all who solely wants to kill and eat anything that moves. I make a break for it but find the entrance to the cave is different in that it now has a doorway that looks like a sphincter (I’ll wait till you’re done giggling or being grossed out) that I get through but the creature’s tongue also gets through and pulls me back in.
Thankfully the mutation changes and then out from that body explodes another… the body of Bowser from Super Mario Bros. (This is officially the weirdest dream I’ve posted yet.) And along the walls are now grates with have various Super Mario toys like it’s a friggin’ carnival. I defeat Bowser by kicking him causing him to spin and eventually disappear. Before we pop the cork however most of the power shuts down and clearly the spirit is still around and trying to kill us using the environment. We all load up in two SUVs with my leading, viewing myself like a third person driving game. As we head up the trail occasionally a mound snow would shoot from the ground to try and knock us over. After two mounds we reach more flat surfaces were we then encounter soldiers with heavy sci-fi looking armor. We get to this one concrete strip and stop where there our five soldiers with mini-guns and rocket launchers. I get out and kill one of them which I regret after the rest inform me they were only there to present a threat but not actually harm me or my company. I take the mini-gun which seems to be loaded with .50 caliber rounds, and head down the way on foot, climbing over and going in between wooden crates hearing the voice of Conan O’Brien. Not long after that I woke up. I think I speak for all when I say, what the fuck?
Hey there fellow dreamers, today’s episode is a two parter. One of the few times waking up and falling back asleep pays off.
PART ONE/the running
A couple leaves their car parked in a lot under an elevated metro train bridge. They walk into a building to try and lay low and after several minutes the sound of sirens and helicopters are heard from outside. Several cop cars are around their parked SUV inspecting it while they’re off in the distance looking at them. A white helicopter is hovering just over the bridge with a woman inside looking down at the people gathering outside to try and find the couple. They stand under the bridge just out of view from the helicopter. I pull them away to help them escape. We go into this one clay colored building and go through the double doors, locking them behind us. Like the outside the interior is also clay colored with it’s walls and ceiling while the floor has linoleum floor tiles that are in a checker pattern between a kind of dark brown and cream color. Save for some lobby furniture like chairs and a bench there isn’t really anything around, to include the back wall which isn’t there at all. Simply a gaping void where you can simply walk out onto the grass and sand cliff and look at the water.
I tell them to hold back while I look around and look up ahead. Upon stepping outside and turning the corner I see that clearly realities are bleeding as upon exiting the building and turning around there is no sign of the city. No sirens or helicopters, just the sound of the crashing waves. The opening from which the building is doesn’t have it’s top two floors but simply exists as a hole in a large rock. Walking around the opening I start to head up this trail that goes over this small ridge, which is probably the best way to go. I go back but waft on the notion for a minute examining another part of the blended environment. Before the opening to the cliff is a patio that bleeds into another reality that exists in a Venice like city with waterways. I jump over the patio rail onto a beam that goes across the river just to do it and get a look of everything. After a minute I head back inside, ruffle through my backpack that I didn’t have before but do now and start thumbing through it’s contents to see what I would really need for survival should the journey take long. Obviously I take the blanket, I take some binoculars and a couple other sundries I can’t remember and head off into the trail without them. Not because I didn’t want to bring them or I was ditching them, I just forgot about them. Hope they’re okay and didn’t get caught.
And now, a word from our fake sponsor…
part two/PROFESSIONAL VIOLATIONS
I take a break from doing some sort of research into schools and head outside where a friend of mine and a girl are just hanging outside next to his white car that looked like a mid-’50s Chrysler 4-door sedan (closest I could find body wise was a Newport ‘cause it’s not a big boat, but is also just a 2-door.) After a minute the two of them split off to do some unfinished moving while I hop in a DeLorean (not sure if it was from BTTF or not) and head off somewhere on my own. Several hours pass and it’s night time, my homie is sitting parked off the road in this little unused patch with leaves everywhere waiting for me. Suddenly a cop pulls in behind the, hits his siren and arrests him for being parked there too long despite the fact that it’s not on anyone’s property. I come in and tell him to let him go, when I do I realize that the office is Will Ferrell. My friend is being arrested by Sheriff Will Ferrell. Moving on, I tell him to stop, he doesn’t, I call him an asshole and he freaks the fuck out. He gets right in my face and starts yelling at me but with his car behind him he’s basically a screaming silhouette with an edge light that makes it even scarier.
After that happens I head back to the house where I then proceed to have some sort of philosophical or literary discussion with this young girl while I’m in pajama pants which I never wear. At some point during it she winds up quoting a line from “Everlong” by Foo Fighters, which can only mean at that moment that song as playing on my playlist. I forget how but through some form of relevance I convince her to come with me and we wind up walking down this very strange street if it can be called that. Basically it’s these four decrepit buildings, two to four stories high, that are located next to the main road and are kind of in the woods but there’s no glass in the windows and there are leaves everywhere. So clearly these haven’t been occupied for sometime. I tell her to walk out a bit while I stand next to the door of a building furthest from the road. Out of nowhere, comedian Marc Maron on the roof of the building I’m near reveals himself on the roof with a sniper rifle and shoots the little girl dead. Behind him a woman, who I know I recognize but I can’t place from where, starts yelling at him for going through with it and from the building comes Steven Weber. Clearly my subconscious has no restrictions of who to throw into these things. I start pleading regret and that I had to do it, as in lure her there. When we turn a corner and I’m next to a tree I know I’m about to be killed. He starts to cross in front of me but double backs to get behind me and slashes my neck five times with a knife. He then pulls my head back and I wake up with my head and neck in an almost similar position. That was messed up. At least it wasn’t Tony Shalhoub who did it.
Today’s episode takes place on the evening of lucky May 13th, 2011.
I start out exploring this cave, going from a few hundred feet in towards the mouth where a small rover is sitting there unoccupied. It looked very much like the one in “Half-Life 2”, a dune buggy frame with wheels, an engine, steering, a chair and not much else to prevent me from getting flung out or trampled over should this thing flip onto it’s side. I get inside the rover, turn the engine over and leave the cave heading down a road that goes alongside a cliff which is to my right. I head down a bit and I come to a bridge on the right, slamming on the brakes for what is on the bridge - a large robotic scorpion that easily had to be 15 to 20 feet tall and a rock giant whose height easily doubled the scorpion. And seeing as how I’m the only thing around for miles that’s moving or living they take notice to me right away. They get ready to attack, the scorpion being the more predatory between the two is already way ahead. How this next part happened I’m not too sure, I slam on the gas and somehow knock the scorpion into the foggy ravine below but I don’t remember slamming into him.
In any event, upon getting rid of one of the large foes the only one that remains is the rock giant who is to say the least pissed I just threw his friend over a cliff. I throw it into reverse and turn it around as the skies begin to darken and the giant bellows out a fear-provoking grumble. But damn it, I realize I’m going the wrong way and the only way out is through so I turn around again, go past the rock monster on the bridge who takes a swipe at my rover and misses, enter this tunnel while darkness consumes the skies and a 40 foot mass of gravel looks down for me. I make it through to the other side and continue along the cliff until I make it to this underground parking structure of sorts. I get out, gun out and up and head through a door to step into a somewhat crowded mall ‘cause I guess after battling one titan and fleeing the other I wanted to do some hardcore shopping. I head down this one hall and find myself accidentally getting caught up in some sort of celebrity event as there are men in tuxedos and women in elegant dresses. Out from around the corner emerges Tommy Chong, John DiMaggio (the voice of Bender on “Futurama”), David Koechner, Jeffery Tambor, and a slew of other famous people that are more well known in the comedy world.
I continue to wander the mall alone in search of something until I spot a couple and I recognize the girl, knowing she has something that I need. I tail the two of them inside the mall, leaving the mall, going across the street to her hotel. After they head inside I hang around outside as opposed to follow them into the lobby as it seems to be a small place located next to a dock. A couple minutes go by and I head around to the side of the building where I strip down to my underwear, in this case tighty whiteys (which I never wear ever, not even as a joke.) I go around to the corner basement room they are staying in and lie down on my stomach on the slope covered in wet leaves. Trying to get close enough to look in but not enough to be spotted I start to slide down and stop myself by jamming my fingers into the dirt. The curtains open up and I duck down hoping I wasn’t spotted. Realizing that this wasn’t going to work (“No shit,”) I put my clothes back on and go inside. I enter through the front door as quietly as possible so as not to be heard by the woman as the boyfriend left moments prior. For a basement hotel room it very much felt like someone had taken a small suite and stuck it underground as it was very spacious and luxurious and looked like a small apartment. Through the back bedroom I go where she is asleep in the dark room and I look around for whatever evidence I was looking for and for cover I shut the bedroom door which wouldn’t fully close. As I examine the evidence I see through a gap the front door open, the boyfriend returns, so I close the door quietly hoping it catches and he didn’t see me. I hide under the bed, revolver in hand, hoping that his lovey dovey act with the missus ends soon. When it does I head outside, explore some of the dock a bit and wake up on the port of consciousness. Sadly, no dune buggy on this end.
Regrettably I can’t remember very much of what happened from last night’s dream, just the tail end of it.
I arrive in town during a blizzard where there’s already a foot of snow on the ground, and some trees. I’m trying to get to somewhere that involves going up a mountain or off the road. I ask for help by a young, long haired, goatee sporting Nicolas Cage who for some reason has this weird accent that sounds like it could be British but given his limited range as an actor it just sounds strange. He told me because of the weather the only way to get there is to take a CAT snow crawler but also that some of the important roads were blocked and the ones that weren’t had a traffic jams. I head home immediately which wasn’t an issue and look out my window, which had a much different backdrop than it normally does, a line of cars not moving in one direction and the other way completely empty with very little snow on the ground at this point. I ask my brother for help to get to the CAT as it’s probably buried under a ton of snow and needs digging out. I get in the car, a mid-90s Ford Windstar (my old car), and head down the only way I can by myself to see if I can get to a back road. Soon as I get to a point where the other side doesn’t have as many cars I start to swerve all over the road for some reason before going off the road and waking up.